dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
