last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we made out on top of his cat.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
