With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
