PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
