I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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