its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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