Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
