youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm sobbing to NWA
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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