Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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