I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
