WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
