just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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