just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
