One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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