I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize