are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
