how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize