Betty ford says i'm here all night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
