You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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