i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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