im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My dick has a subreddit
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
