i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
it's not cheating when I paid for it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
