There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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