Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize