In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
