also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
