have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
