See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
