Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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