Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
