About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
did i walk over a car last night?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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