Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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