But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize