it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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