I haven't been this sober since birth.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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