Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
