He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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