You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you never un-have a 4some
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
