He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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