that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
