umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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