so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
