i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
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