at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
