I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
