i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize