So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
