omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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