She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize