It's Friday. Sex?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
