I wannas sexs uuuuu
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
