The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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