I'm going to jail i love you
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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