My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
