I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
