new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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