hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
