hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
