ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
