An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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