We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
