I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
