Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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