i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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