i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
