After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
